5 months of milestones

And just like that, another month has passed. Braden has accomplished so much in just these last 4 weeks. About 3 weeks ago, Braden started to learn to sit on his own. He started out by putting his hands down in front of him…the traditional tripod pose. I wasn’t expecting him to be able to do that so early, but there he was, learning to sit on his own. Every now and then I would sit him down so he could practice his sitting. But I didn’t think much of it because I thought sitting wasn’t supposed to happen for at least another month.

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It wasn’t until we went to our first Gymboree class, that I realized how well he sits – all by himself! He is such a champ at Gymboree. The teacher always exclaims about how well he sits up, grabs for objects and his ability to hold onto things. He is so aware of his surroundings. Curious about the people around him. He loves to look at older kids doing things he can’t do yet. You can see him trying to figure out how he can get from one place to the other. He doesn’t know how to crawl, but you can see his mind wondering why he can’t do that yet. I won’t be surprised if he starts to crawl early, he just wants to move!

He’s finally found an adoration for his papa (my dad). It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. He truly recognizes him when he walks into a room, and always gives him the biggest smile. My dad is the only one that can get him to just chill next to him on the couch. I don’t know how he does it. Braden thinks I am a jungle gym. Always wanting to crawl all over me, pull my hair, grab my nose and eat my cheek. But not with papa. Braden nestles into papa’s side, holding on tightly to papa’s finger. I’ll go away for an hour and when I come back, he’ll be in the same place, super content, chewing on a toy. I wish I knew my dad’s technique.

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Braden got his first postcard in the mail. I know it may seem insignificant. But it was the first time it really registered to me that he is an actual person. A member of society. It truly was addressed to him, from one of his teachers at Gymboree. It wasn’t addressed to me, talking about Braden. It was a little letter to him, about him. I have it placed in his room atop his dresser. I love to look at it when I pass by.


I’m such a sucker for a really great photo. And Braden’s 5 month picture was no exception. I had it all planned out. Which was my first mistake. The shoot only lasted 5 minutes. Braden’s little hands got ahold of the balloon strings, and within seconds the balloons whisked into the air. I laughingly jumped, trying to catch the balloons. But no, it was too late…and away they went into the air. I looked down at my little Braden and there he sat with the cornucopia and a headband of paper feathers, giggling away at me.

Braden still only rolls from back to front. He’s moved on from rolling and tries to sit up. If I lay him down on his back, he lifts his head up trying to sit up. I like to gently push his forehead back down and tell him he’s not old enough to do that yet. However, sometimes he gets a good momentum going and pushes up on one arm. I don’t know how he does it. His strength is bizarre!

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Solid foods are a mere few weeks away. I am nervous, excited, terrified, overjoyed, and horrified! I’ve never seen a baby so interested in food. He reaches for it, mimics me chewing and watches my food go from plate – to fork – to mouth. I always said I wouldn’t give him food until 6 months, but he’s ready. So I must let my little baby Braden grow up just a little bit more.


I’m looking forward to sleeping through the night. But for now I try to be patient and realize this is just a short amount of time in his life. One day he won’t need me to rock him to sleep, or look for me in the middle of the night. As much as I would love for a solid 10-12 hours of sleep, I’m learning to just enjoy each moment. It’s hard to not push for him to learn and grow. But I think it’s important to sit in this moment. To stay present in this time. It will only happen once, and I want to embrace the good, the bad, and even the ugly.

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I love you,

your mama xo

A boy and his toy : )

5 months of milestones

4 months of milestones

Sandra Bullock said it best, “I never knew what a milestone meant until I had a kid”. As an adult, we take for granted the ability to walk, talk, roll over and etc. But It’s such an accomplishment for our babies to achieve these milestones. This past month Braden has learned to roll over from back to tummy. Every time I see him do it, I’m so amazed. The way he’s learned to slightly push himself up from his arms makes me smile. I could take a picture of him doing it every time and it will never get old. Why is this so amazing to me!? Perhaps it’s because I’ve watched him go from a silent and still newborn to this growing, active, “talking” baby.
Rolling over is a great achievement in baby world. For Braden it started when he was able to find his feet. Every time I laid him down he would hurl is legs up towards his face. Eventually he realized he had feet he could hold onto, and hold onto he did! Changing diapers became a different kind of challenge, but it’s so cute it’s worth it.
Soon after the feet finding, Braden learned to use that momentum to lean himself to one side. He would do this and rock back and forth, back and forth. Somehow without me looking, he would end up on his tummy. I would know because it got eerily silent, and then the grunting began. I’d walk over and talk to him about his accomplishment. He’d look up and smile at me. But after a couple minutes he got bored of it, and would try to get back. Except he doesn’t know how to do that yet, so the grunting and whining would start up again. I’m curious to see how long it will take him to roll around without any help from me. I’m excited and scared at the same time.
Speaking of whining… Braden has found a new way to communicate with me: whining. He mostly whines when he wants me to hold him up and help him bounce up and down on my legs. I (kind of regrettably) got him a standing bouncer since he outgrew the seated one. Ever since then he thinks everything is meant to bounce on. Bounce bounce bounce. If he didn’t weigh over 18 pounds i’d oblige, but my arms are killing me. Is it possible for a 5 month old to walk? I’m pretty sure I won’t me able to hold him for much longer.
Braden has experienced his first time in the pool, he doesn’t have an opinion about it yet. He got his first bad rash (eczema), he handled it better than I did. He has a newfound affinity for water bottles. He loves to chew on the caps. Don’t worry; it’s attached to the bottle. He’s once again gone up a size in diapers, and in clothes. He still loves to drool, poop and fart like nobodies business. He likes to eat his feet, watch me eat, and grab at anything and everything. I learned this very quickly after sitting him in my lap at the dinner table. Yikes!
I haven’t decided on when I’m going to start him on solids, but I think he’s ready more than I am. Do they have to grow so fast?
I truly love him more and more each day. I love looking at the world through his eyes. Let’s see what the next 4 weeks will bring us.

I love you,
Your mama xo















4 months of milestones

The 2am smile

2am always comes so quickly. No matter how early I go to bed, 2am is not as fun as it once was. I awake to the sounds of a hungry baby. Mindlessly, I pull him into my lap so he can eat. I lazily look at my phone. It reads 2am. I struggle to keep my eyes awake. Hurry up and eat, I’m thinking.
After what seems like an eternity, he finally finishes. I quietly pull him to chest, he let’s out a little burp. Carefully, I rise from my bed… And slowly I make my way to the changing table. Any sudden movements, trips over large objects, or running into walls could awake the babe. Which is something I’m trying to avoid at all costs.
I turn on the lights, and lay him down. I aim for a quick change of the diaper. Steadily and effortlessly I make it through. As I squeeze the hand sanitizer into my hands, it pops out of my hands and onto the floor. BOOM!
I quickly glance at the babe on the table. Instantly, arms are flailing and legs are kicking! PLEASE DON’T OPEN YOUR EYES.
My mind instantly flashes to 3am, attempting to rock him back to sleep. Tomorrow morning being a nightmare to wake up to. Dark circles, bed hair, bad breath… Oh no oh no, please don’t wake up!
But the flutter of the eyes begins. It’s happening. He’s waking up and there’s nothing I can do. Do I look at him? Do I look away? Ignore? Ahh!
And then, the baby blues open and find my face. A face terrified of what’s to come. We lock eyes for a 5 second stare down. Then it happens.
The most beautiful, precious and biggest smile appears upon his face. He giggles, as if it say, “oh hey mom! There you are!”
In a second, nothing else matters. Dark circles, bed hair, and bad breath is all worth it. I scoop him up into my arms and kiss his cheek. I turn off the light, and we walk back to bed. I hold him close, hum in his ear, and gently rock him back and forth. He softly tells me all about his dreams. Before I know it he has drifted off back to sleep.
And Braden, that 2am smile was just fine by me.

I love you,
Your mama! Xo

15 weeks old!










The 2am smile

Technicolor Poop

My world has been consumed by poop. More specifically, Braden’s poop. It started the moment he was born. We couldn’t leave the hospital until he pooped. And poop he did. I somehow got away with never having to change a poopy diaper for almost 3 days! And let me tell ya, those first few poops are not so great. Can be poop be great you ask? YES IT CAN!
After the meconium poop days were past us, the green-yellow and yellow poops followed. Yellow poop is the healthiest. I’m exclusively breastfeeding so It’s the great poop you always want. When he was a few weeks old his poop suddenly turned green. BRIGHT GREEN. I immediately googled and came across some answers. But I still had that mom guilt so I called the pediatrician. They suggested perhaps he wasn’t getting enough hind milk. You see when breastfeeding, the hind milk contains the fat and comes at the end. So if the baby doesn’t finish off all the milk, he is just getting foremilk. This can turn poop green.
The phone nurse informed me this was probably the case, not to worry and make sure he takes all of the milk. I focused so hard. I was determined to not let anymore green poop happen. I chose to start block feeding hoping that would help. It worked! His poop turned back to the “great yellow”. I was thrilled.
About a month later… Green poop. Again. I couldn’t believe it. I focused back on my block feeding. Nothing changed. I called the pediatrician. They told me not to worry, perhaps it’s something in my diet. I did some research. Dairy. Cows milk can be very sensitive to a babies digestive system since it’s still adapting and developing. So I cut out diary. Did you know dairy is in practically everything?
I was vegan up until I got pregnant, but when you’re used to not looking into ingredients for almost a year… It’s hard to remember to do so. After a week and a half of cutting back on diary… No changes. I decided to call the pediatrician again. It just didn’t sit right that my babies poop was STILL green. Something HAD to be wrong.
The phone nurse decided it was best to bring in Braden immediately. I was so nervous. What if something was seriously wrong with my little nugget!? I began to be so mad at myself for not making them bring him in sooner. I ended up having to go to their main office and see a completely different doctor. That made me even more nervous. But luckily the pediatrician group is so lovely and accommodating.
We were seen by the most incredible doctor. All of them are great actually. He walked in and was so kind to Braden, trying to make his experience at the pediatricians much less scary.
He opened with, ” So, I hear Braden has some technicolor poop”. I immediately liked him even more. I told him what I had been doing to help ( block feeding, no dairy) I was scared he was going to tell me that I couldn’t breastfeed anymore. But he eased my fears when he told me that Braden was gaining weight “normally” ( he’s a bit of an overachiever in that area) and he seemed like a really happy and alert baby. All of those things are a good indicator that everything is okay. Then he went on to explain why his poop is green.
Braden poops a lot. No really, a lot. Almost after every time he eats, and almost instantly. You see, for a baby his age the average baby poops maybe once a day. Their poop has enough time for the gallbladder to metabolize the food… Which for breastfed babies turns it a yellow color. But because Braden poops so often it doesn’t have time to do so. With age his poops will slow down on their own.
Also, he may have an allergy to something I’m eating. But because he doesn’t seem bothered by it, their were no further tests needed. It’s most likely diary… And that can take up to 3 weeks to leave the mamas body! I couldn’t believe it!
So… Just on cue, after 3 weeks of no diary, I am proud to say Braden’s poop is back to that “great yellow”!! I feel such relief!
I never thought I would be the mama to chit chat about Braden’s poop. But trust me, I could talk about it for hours. How did his poop become so intriguing!? I can’t believe I’m THAT mom!
It’s crazy how my babies poop has become such a part of my everyday life. And not just changing diapers… That’s the easy part. Their is so much more responsibly and dedication than I ever thought imaginable. But the reward is so incredibly worth it that I wouldn’t change a thing. Poop and all!

I love you,
Your mama xoxo

14 weeks old!






Technicolor Poop

these little shoes


i never thought that a little pair of shoes could mean so much to me. every time my eyes  come across these little shoes, i can’t help but get the biggest smile on my face. sometimes i just sit in bed and hold them. it’s unimaginable to me that someday soon, my SON will be here – and those are HIS shoes. they have little tiny velcro straps that i open and close constantly. HIS velcro straps. i love him so much and i can not wait to meet him.

19 weeks to go.

i love you,

your mamma.


these little shoes