I love taking pictures of Braden when he’s sleeping. I probably have hundreds of them. I like to look at them while I’m reflecting on the day. But, today was one of the hard days. We had so many arguments, about the same thing, all day long. I hate it.

Earlier today I had a woman tell me that I was such a good mom. That Braden was so sweet because I’m so sweet to him. But, I didn’t feel like a good mom today. And I definitely didn’t feel like I was sweet. In fact, I feel quite the opposite.

Being a mom is really hard on the soul. As I tucked B into bed, we both apologized for the way we acted and promised each other that we would try harder to not argue. As I wiped the last of his tears away, we hugged tightly, said our “I love you’s”, and agreed that tomorrow would be a new day to start over.

But my heart is still so sad. I hate days like today. I want every day to be fun and silly and full of laughter. I know that’s not reality, but a mom can dream right?

Braden, I love you so much and I hope that as we both continue to grow, we learn to give each other more grace.

You are my everything.

I love you,

Your mama.