You’re never fully dressed without a smile

Braden was the best newborn. He slept mostly all the time. He’d only awake to eat and then straight back to sleep. It was an easy routine to get into, and I seemed to get plenty of sleep. Those days are long gone.
I guess I should still preface this by saying, he’s still a pretty happy go lucky, easy baby. But the sleep… Or lack thereof is killing me. I miss newborn-sleepy Braden. I could watch television at a normal level, listen to music, and have conversations with others in the room. These days I have to nurse in a quiet, dark room. If you call me on the phone during that time… Forget it. I can’t answer. The moment he hears my voice, he looks back at me, and then smiles so big. I’ve lost him. He would rather eat his hand. I have the hardest time getting him to eat again after an interruption.
Everything is a distraction. He’s so curious about everything. He’ll (walk?) into the same room a hundred times, but look around as if he’s seeing everything for the first time.
No longer does he fall straight to sleep after I’ve fed him. Which I guess is better in the long run. However, I now must rock him to sleep. But not only do I have to rock, I must also do one of the following; sing, hum, shush, pat his back or make a sound I can’t even begin to describe. Of course it’s never the same, and it is my job to figure out which way he would like to be soothed. He likes to keep me on my toes.
Luckily, by mistake, I’ve discovered one song that gets me through the changing table, long car rides, and a lullaby to sleep. I stumbled upon it accidentally one day when my mother was getting dressed. She looked at me and asked, “how do I look?” I said, “oh mother, who cares what you’re wearing… You’re never fully dressed without a smile”. She laughed and said, “oh I like that, where’s that from?”. I told her it was from the musical Annie. She couldn’t remember how it went, so I looked it up on YouTube.
With Braden in my lap I started to play the song for my mom. Instantly, Braden stopped whatever he was chewing on and his baby blue eyes went straight to my phone. He could not take his eyes off the screen. He was so quiet, just enjoying the girls sing and dance around. I swear he is infatuated with girls.
Anyway, of course I couldn’t get the song out of my head all day. But Braden didn’t seem to mind, so I kept on singing. It wasn’t until one long car ride (where he would not stop crying) that I discovered this song was like magic!
I was going through all of my resources to get him to stop crying, but nothing was working. I was driving with one hand, holding onto his fingers with my other hand, losing circulation in my shoulder from reaching behind me. And then I remembered, the song. I started singing… “Who cares what they’re wearing…” BOOM. Silence. I looked back into the mirror, a little smile had appeared on his face. I’ll never forget the look on his face, a little Braden grin coming through, tears fading away. I had found it! The one song I can sing to get him to calm down!
To be honest, it only worked like magic for about 2 weeks. He’s a smart cookie and caught on to my secret and so it doesn’t work every time. But for when the times it does, it genuinely melts my heart. My favorite times are changing him on that table, or when he’s just waking up from a nap. I always sing to him, his eyes fixated on me with an enormous smile on his face. He looks at me with such love, that smile filling my heart up. Maybe that’s why he loves that song so much. He’s just never fully dressed without that smile!!

I love you ( more than I ever thought possible),
Your mama xoxoxoxox

20 weeks old!











You’re never fully dressed without a smile

Sometimes you don’t need to sleep

I love my son. I do. I love playing with him. I love singing songs to him. I love (sometimes) rocking him to sleep. I love tummy time, bouncing him on my leg and tickling him into a giggle fest.
But sometimes the sleepless nights get to you. Exhaustion takes over, and I find myself begging for him to sleep in a little bit longer. Of course, it doesn’t happen. He’s ready for the day to start. And so we get up. I muster up the energy I didn’t know I had.
The day always starts with breakfast for me and tummy time for him. In between bites I switch him to the bouncer. By the time he’s ready for breakfast, I’m done with mine. If I’m lucky, I’ll feed him into a food coma and we’ll both get to take a nap. These days it doesn’t get to happen that way, so I persevere. He naps for 30 minutes, while I quickly shower and get dressed.
Onwards we go and somehow it’s 3 o’clock and I’ve done nothing. Well, nothing to the casual onlooker. But to Braden we’ve had a day full of learning, discovering, eating, sleeping, giggling and cuddling.
I try to squeeze in one more nap but of course he wants to giggle or read books or play with my face. He’s newly discovered he can touch my face. It’s the cutest.
At about 5:30 I can’t wait for 6:30 to come so we can start our bedtime routine. This means that he’ll be asleep around 7/7:30 and maybe I can be too. But once he’s asleep, I realize it’s quiet. Should I go to sleep or stay up? When else in my day do I get be alone with just me?
And more times often than not, I choose to not sleep. I choose to put on my headphones and listen to the music I’ve missed so greatly. My eyes never moving from his face on the monitor. I choose to escape for 30 minutes. I choose to not sleep, because sometimes you just don’t need to.
Until 6am rolls around…

I love you,
Your mama xo
19 weeks old!










Sometimes you don’t need to sleep

4 months of milestones

Sandra Bullock said it best, “I never knew what a milestone meant until I had a kid”. As an adult, we take for granted the ability to walk, talk, roll over and etc. But It’s such an accomplishment for our babies to achieve these milestones. This past month Braden has learned to roll over from back to tummy. Every time I see him do it, I’m so amazed. The way he’s learned to slightly push himself up from his arms makes me smile. I could take a picture of him doing it every time and it will never get old. Why is this so amazing to me!? Perhaps it’s because I’ve watched him go from a silent and still newborn to this growing, active, “talking” baby.
Rolling over is a great achievement in baby world. For Braden it started when he was able to find his feet. Every time I laid him down he would hurl is legs up towards his face. Eventually he realized he had feet he could hold onto, and hold onto he did! Changing diapers became a different kind of challenge, but it’s so cute it’s worth it.
Soon after the feet finding, Braden learned to use that momentum to lean himself to one side. He would do this and rock back and forth, back and forth. Somehow without me looking, he would end up on his tummy. I would know because it got eerily silent, and then the grunting began. I’d walk over and talk to him about his accomplishment. He’d look up and smile at me. But after a couple minutes he got bored of it, and would try to get back. Except he doesn’t know how to do that yet, so the grunting and whining would start up again. I’m curious to see how long it will take him to roll around without any help from me. I’m excited and scared at the same time.
Speaking of whining… Braden has found a new way to communicate with me: whining. He mostly whines when he wants me to hold him up and help him bounce up and down on my legs. I (kind of regrettably) got him a standing bouncer since he outgrew the seated one. Ever since then he thinks everything is meant to bounce on. Bounce bounce bounce. If he didn’t weigh over 18 pounds i’d oblige, but my arms are killing me. Is it possible for a 5 month old to walk? I’m pretty sure I won’t me able to hold him for much longer.
Braden has experienced his first time in the pool, he doesn’t have an opinion about it yet. He got his first bad rash (eczema), he handled it better than I did. He has a newfound affinity for water bottles. He loves to chew on the caps. Don’t worry; it’s attached to the bottle. He’s once again gone up a size in diapers, and in clothes. He still loves to drool, poop and fart like nobodies business. He likes to eat his feet, watch me eat, and grab at anything and everything. I learned this very quickly after sitting him in my lap at the dinner table. Yikes!
I haven’t decided on when I’m going to start him on solids, but I think he’s ready more than I am. Do they have to grow so fast?
I truly love him more and more each day. I love looking at the world through his eyes. Let’s see what the next 4 weeks will bring us.

I love you,
Your mama xo















4 months of milestones