I did it!

After 13 months of nursing I can officially say I am done. It’s a bittersweet feeling. But in the end, I’m ready to move on from this chapter in my life. It was a really important goal of mine to nurse Braden for a full year, with zero supplement from formula. And I did it. I can’t believe It… But I did! It was a really rough first couple of months, and I thought for sure I was going to have to stop. But I persevered, and accomplished my goal. The benefits outweighed any struggle that I had, and I’m glad I chose to keep going.
I know every mom will choose their own path, and I support any decision! This is just my own little pat on the back for surviving the past year as being Braden’s (partial) lifeline. I will miss the sweet cuddles and sleepy blue eyes peering up at me..
But I know it’s time to move on and let Braden grow up just a little bit more. He no longer needs me in that way and I must accept that the world is ready to have just a little piece more of my sweet Braden. Oh and sweet he is.
I love you my button button ( yes 2 buttons)

Your mama


I did it!


Braden started out his first Halloween by imprinting his foot onto a Halloween canvas. I never would describe myself as a perfectionist, but I could not get this craft right. I tried two different times before I got it “right”. Third times the charm right? Of course, I did the writing, spider and spider webs to my liking, but Braden’s footprint was a little off. He didn’t seem to understand what was going on. I think it looks good regardless. And I will always remember his chubby little feet slipping around in the paint. Not to mention, the little piece of black paint (non-toxic) that is still apparent underneath his toenails. OOPS.

Braden also had his first professional pictures done. He wore his snazzy Burberry jean outfit that my mothers friend so generously gave to him. Unfortunately, Braden was on a nap strike during that week. Only a couple of pictures turned out alright, since he got pouty after about 15 minutes. Babies. What can ya do?!

I took Braden to Pumpkin City – his first pumpkin patch! He was a wee bit too little to really enjoy it. But he was a real good sport when it came to posing with the pumpkins. He loved being inside of the teepee with mama, and riding the hay horse. I mean, who wouldn’t?

Pinterest is still so confusing to me. But sometimes I have it figured out and gain great ideas from it. I saw a picture of a baby in a pumpkin, and I just had to put Braden in one. The only problem was, Braden is huge. Like really. I had to find the perfect pumpkin so it could work. I scoped out the scene and found the largest pumpkin I could find. I carved it the top first. Then I cut out where the legs would go. But when I attempted to put Braden inside of the pumpkin, he didn’t fit. I was laughing so hard. Who is this kid? So I had to cut the pumpkin down from the top – making it big enough for his chunky thighs to fit through. His legs BARELY fit through the holes. It was such a close call that when taking him out of the pumpkin, he let out a little cry because his legs were stuck. Yikes. He was such a great sport through the whole thing. Although I do admit he was a bit distracted with the grass tickling his feet and the taste of the pumpkin head. It was fun to watch him experience it all for the first time.

Braden was a monkey for Halloween. It seemed fitting since his dad and I nicknamed him our little monkey before he was born. Obviously, I had to be a banana to complement him. It was perfect. Except by the time Trick – or – Treating came around Braden was over Halloween. It was a lot for his little 4 1/2 month old self. With Grammy K and Auntie Lindsay in tow, we went a knocking down the neighborhood. Well, he lasted about 2 houses before he had enough. It was win for me since I got to eat all of his candy.

I look forward to next year. Holding hands, walking door to door. Maybe even a little Halloween party or two.

I love you,

your mama xoxo


You’re never fully dressed without a smile

Braden was the best newborn. He slept mostly all the time. He’d only awake to eat and then straight back to sleep. It was an easy routine to get into, and I seemed to get plenty of sleep. Those days are long gone.
I guess I should still preface this by saying, he’s still a pretty happy go lucky, easy baby. But the sleep… Or lack thereof is killing me. I miss newborn-sleepy Braden. I could watch television at a normal level, listen to music, and have conversations with others in the room. These days I have to nurse in a quiet, dark room. If you call me on the phone during that time… Forget it. I can’t answer. The moment he hears my voice, he looks back at me, and then smiles so big. I’ve lost him. He would rather eat his hand. I have the hardest time getting him to eat again after an interruption.
Everything is a distraction. He’s so curious about everything. He’ll (walk?) into the same room a hundred times, but look around as if he’s seeing everything for the first time.
No longer does he fall straight to sleep after I’ve fed him. Which I guess is better in the long run. However, I now must rock him to sleep. But not only do I have to rock, I must also do one of the following; sing, hum, shush, pat his back or make a sound I can’t even begin to describe. Of course it’s never the same, and it is my job to figure out which way he would like to be soothed. He likes to keep me on my toes.
Luckily, by mistake, I’ve discovered one song that gets me through the changing table, long car rides, and a lullaby to sleep. I stumbled upon it accidentally one day when my mother was getting dressed. She looked at me and asked, “how do I look?” I said, “oh mother, who cares what you’re wearing… You’re never fully dressed without a smile”. She laughed and said, “oh I like that, where’s that from?”. I told her it was from the musical Annie. She couldn’t remember how it went, so I looked it up on YouTube.
With Braden in my lap I started to play the song for my mom. Instantly, Braden stopped whatever he was chewing on and his baby blue eyes went straight to my phone. He could not take his eyes off the screen. He was so quiet, just enjoying the girls sing and dance around. I swear he is infatuated with girls.
Anyway, of course I couldn’t get the song out of my head all day. But Braden didn’t seem to mind, so I kept on singing. It wasn’t until one long car ride (where he would not stop crying) that I discovered this song was like magic!
I was going through all of my resources to get him to stop crying, but nothing was working. I was driving with one hand, holding onto his fingers with my other hand, losing circulation in my shoulder from reaching behind me. And then I remembered, the song. I started singing… “Who cares what they’re wearing…” BOOM. Silence. I looked back into the mirror, a little smile had appeared on his face. I’ll never forget the look on his face, a little Braden grin coming through, tears fading away. I had found it! The one song I can sing to get him to calm down!
To be honest, it only worked like magic for about 2 weeks. He’s a smart cookie and caught on to my secret and so it doesn’t work every time. But for when the times it does, it genuinely melts my heart. My favorite times are changing him on that table, or when he’s just waking up from a nap. I always sing to him, his eyes fixated on me with an enormous smile on his face. He looks at me with such love, that smile filling my heart up. Maybe that’s why he loves that song so much. He’s just never fully dressed without that smile!!

I love you ( more than I ever thought possible),
Your mama xoxoxoxox

20 weeks old!











You’re never fully dressed without a smile